


prime for distribution

by daydoodles



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: (All organ harvesting procedures taken from YouTube), (sort of), Cannibalism, Corpses, Dissection, Gore, Illegal Activities, M/M, Medical Procedures, Murder, My first time writing Holsom and this is the shit I come up with, Organ Theft, Organized Crime, Weapons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-30 07:05:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12648594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daydoodles/pseuds/daydoodles
Summary: Strictly confectional, strictly medicinal, if a little non-traditional.





	prime for distribution

**Author's Note:**

> Hoo boy. So first of all, this work goes with [a oneshot](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12434466) I wrote a while ago, but you don't really have to read it to understand this one - I just thought I'd mention it because I had a couple people tell me I should write more within that AU. It's more of a spin-off I guess, but here it is.
> 
> Also, a disclaimer: I basically gave myself a crash course in dissection, organ preservation, and organ removal via Google for this. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I don't know a damn thing y'all.
> 
> And as usual, the title and description came from [a song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qBA5-PZgqY) because I have no originality.

“What’s the order for today?” Adam asks as he swings open the back door of the ambulance.

 

Justin eyes the handwritten note he’s holding. “Looks typical; just a brain, some thigh meat, and a liver.”

 

“We gonna sell the rest to our lovely loyal customers?”

 

“Yeah, Boss said to dish it out however we need to. I think he’s taking the rest of the day off,” Justin says as he sets up his equipment. Sanitation isn’t exactly necessary in this line of business, but he’s always been adamant about it anyway.

 

“Swawesome, I can definitely work with that.” Adam tightens his bulletproof vest, checks his weapons, and raps a knuckle on the wall so Dex knows they’re ready to go.

 

Dex is pretty quiet, quieter than usual, but Adam figures that’s probably just because he’s still salty that Jack deemed him “too volatile” for field work yet. To be fair, Adam would lose his damn mind if all he was allowed to do was drive.

 

They’re going to their usual pickup spot, so they have roughly thirteen minutes before arrival, which is just enough time for Justin to finish getting ready. Adam still doesn’t get why he bothers with the whole sanitation procedure and surgical getup, but Justin refuses to do a job unless he’s washed his hands for like an eternity. Maybe it’s an anxiety thing. Either way, Justin’s the best at what he does, which is why he and Adam are Jack’s dream team. He knows that any job they do will go smoothly, and be done fast.

 

They reach their pickup in only eleven and a half minutes - record time - thanks to Dex’s insane road rage, and Adam hops out the back to retrieve the body.

 

“Hey, Boss!” he hollers at Jack, like he always does, and Jack smiles politely like he always does. He’s used to Adam’s obnoxiousness by now.

 

“Hey, Holster. I got a normal specimen, nothing interesting to report, so Ransom should be able to just do the standard.”

 

“Copy that,” Adam says as he hoists the body bag over one shoulder. “And, Boss? Try to have fun with your hubby tonight.” He winks, turns on his heel, and then he’s back in the ambulance before Jack is even done shaking his head.

 

Adam slings the body bag onto a stretcher, straps it up and makes sure it’s secure before he gives Dex the signal to move. Justin opens it to inspect the body, so he won’t have to do that once they get to his lab. Time is money, especially with such a short window of opportunity. Bodies start to rot way faster than TV and the internet would lead one to believe, as it turns out, and there’s no refrigeration in the ambulance.

 

They make it to the lab in under four minutes, their speed fueled once again by Dex’s seemingly perpetual anger and his consequential lead foot. Adam grabs the body bag, throws open the doors, and Justin gathers his tools before following Adam out of the ambulance. Dex locks it up, then tails them into the building.

 

The location of the lab itself changes constantly to keep a low profile; today, it’s in an apartment rented out in the name of one of Jack’s many informants. Next week it’ll probably be on the complete opposite side of town, but it’s not like Adam minds the change in scenery. He likes to keep moving, keep on his toes, which is part of why he loves his job so much.

 

It’s always set up more or less the same, though: big metal table for the actual butchering, more tables for Justin’s tools, surveillance cameras for Adam to keep an eye on the outside, and a chair for Dex to sit and wait. (Though lately Justin’s also been using him as a personal assistant to hand him his tools as he needs them. It’s hilarious how annoyed Dex gets.)

 

Adam checks his weapons again for good measure; today he’s packing light, since they just switched lab locations and it’s unlikely they’ll get any kickback from such a low profile job. All he’s got are his CM901, a few knives, brass knuckles, and a taser, but he can work with it. He also has a flamethrower, but he tends to avoid using it because of the collateral damage. As in, you can’t take organs from an incinerated body.

 

Justin, meanwhile, brought out the whole arsenal. Adam doesn’t know what half the shit Justin uses even is, but he definitely just saw him pull out that ultrasonic bone scalpel thing he loves and that means that Justin is in the zone. They’ll be here a while.

 

Dex sits in his chair while Adam takes the body out of the bag and sets it on the operating table; this one was a pretty clean kill, actually, so at least there aren’t body parts all over the place. Not yet, anyway. Justin adjusts the body how he wants it, props up the chest with a rubber block for easier access, and straps it down so he doesn’t have to worry about being gentle with it; ever since an incident that involved a misplaced saw and a flying body, Justin won’t take chances. Adam hands Dex his brass knuckles, just in case anything happens.

 

“What the fuck am I gonna do with this?” Dex asks, incredulous.

 

“Punch someone,” is all Adam says as he checks his ammo and walks over to Justin. Dex keeps grumbling, but he tunes him out. “You want anything, man?”

 

Justin eyes the bowie knife strapped to his thigh, the flamethrower across his back, and the assault rifle he’s holding, and just shakes his head. “You know I don’t know how to use that shit, bro. And besides, I have 25 kinds of scalpels alone. I think I’m good.” He looks down at the table, and gets back to cutting the corpse’s abdomen open. Adam will admit he’s impressed. He may be better at killing people, but Justin’s the one who knows what to do with them once they’re dead.

 

Adam walks back over to his monitors, keeps an eye on the surrounding area. Justin’s already calling Dex over to hand him things, mumbling something about not being able to find his #22 scalpel. Whatever the hell that is. Apparently Dex somehow knows, and manages to locate it, effectively nominating himself as Justin’s assistant for the rest of the procedure.

 

Justin starts off like Adam’s seen him do a million times: cutting down the sternum to the pubic area, flaying the skin around the outer edge of the torso, and connecting it all with incisions over the collarbones and connecting the ridges of the hip bones so he can easily peel the skin back. He asks for his tissue forceps, which just look like giant tweezers to Adam, and starts ripping shit apart to get to the good stuff.

 

“Holster, what’s the temperature?” Justin asks in between slicing off hunks of skin.

 

Adam looks at the thermostat. “Six degrees Celsius.”

 

“Turn it down to two.”

 

“You got it, bro.” Adam does as he’s told; he’s learned not to question Justin’s judgement. It usually has something to do with the condition of the body, so it’s not like Adam has any input anyway.

 

Justin’s already managed to dispose of the skin, and he tosses it in the wooden box they’ll burn later to avoid leaving any identifiable remains. He sticks a hand out to Dex. “Rib cutters.”

 

Dex hands him something that looks like pliers, and Justin hacks at the sternum and the edge of the ribcage till he pulls the ribs free. In the meantime, Dex has put on a pair of gloves, and he takes the ribs to package them. Adam has no idea what the liquid is that Dex submerges them in, or why he has to coat the bag with it, too, before he puts the whole mess into a bag of ice, but he’s not gonna get involved. Justin’s always raving about how great Dex is and how much faster his helps makes the process, so Adam leaves them to it.

 

Justin cuts out the lungs and heart, and he must be having a good day because he doesn’t even bother asking for his toothed forceps; Adam only knows what that is because before Dex came along, Justin used them nearly every job. Now he just kind of...grabs the organs and rips them out his damn self. Adam would be lying if he said he wasn’t into that.

 

Justin hands the organs to Dex, who repeats the whole packaging process again, with different liquid this time, and Adam is once again impressed that Dex can keep all this straight. He’s always been impressed with Justin, too, but then again he’s been working with Justin since they got into this business, so he’s seen all the trial and error he had to go through to get this good at what he does. Adam knows absolutely nothing about Dex’s backstory, not even his actual name, so he can only assume why Dex knows all the shit he knows. And anything he can come up with is usually pretty far-fetched, so he just resigns himself to ignorance.

 

Adam goes back to checking his weapons again, since he’s always paranoid that something will malfunction, and keeps an eye on the monitors at all times. He’s tempted to hijack what was meant to be Dex’s chair, but restrains himself because he wants to be prepared to act immediately should anything dire happen. Which it won’t, but better safe than sorry.

 

Justin takes his time with the abdominal organs, because there’s a whole mess of veins, arteries, and nerves connecting them all in a big tangle (which Adam only knows because Justin is constantly yelling about his frustration over it). Nonetheless, he frees the liver, kidneys, and stomach quickly, handing Dex each organ as he removes it from the cavity. Dex gets each one set up to transport in the time it takes Justin to prepare the next organ, and Adam has to admit they make an efficient team.

 

Then there’s the muscle tissue, the actual meat of the body. It only takes Justin approximately two seconds to make an incision down the length of the arms and legs, wiggling his fingers beneath the skin so he can strip it back easily. He trims it all off, throwing it in the same box as before, and works on removing the veins and nerves and whatever else is still in his way. Adam sort of gets lost whenever it comes to exactly what muscles are valuable, but Justin cuts out most of the larger ones from the arms and thighs especially. Dex doesn’t bother putting these in that nasty solution, just tosses them in a bag with ice and moves on to the next one.

 

Justin flips the body over, starting to separate the muscles in the back of the leg and the glutes from the tendons that connect them to the bones. Dex stays right by his side, bagging it all up as fast as Justin can cut it out. This particular corpse has some really impressive muscles, so they’ll get good money for them, which is a relief. Adam hates having to push tiny cuts of meat, even if he is a great salesman. Cannibals are not people he wants to piss off, ever.

 

After Justin’s left with just the smaller bits of meat and bare bones, he moves on to the head, adjusting his rubber block to prop it up so he doesn’t have to hold it. This is the most involved process, so Dex stands at the ready with the necessary tools as Justin peels the skin and muscles surrounding the skull.

 

“Stryker saw,” Justin says, and Dex hands him Adam’s personal favourite piece in Justin’s collection. He cuts across the middle of the skull between the ears, and down the back, before asking for a skull chisel. Then he gets to work hammering away at the skull, loosening it enough to pry it away from the brain. It makes a nasty ripping, crackling sound that Adam’s never really gotten used to.

 

But then Justin’s free to slice away all the protective tissue and connective tissue and arteries that they don’t need, and it’s a delicate process because of the texture of the brain, but eventually he gets it out, perfectly intact. Dex bags it up as Justin puts the rest of the waste in the box and seals it. That’s Adam’s cue to take it to the back and burn it, which is where his flamethrower does come in handy.

 

He’s gotta be careful, because burning a person-sized box is suspicious at best and incriminating at worst, but thankfully this location is pretty far out from the center of town so it’s less likely anyone will notice, or worse, call the police. He fashions a makeshift bonfire to cover up the box as a precaution, and even tosses some graham crackers and marshmallows on Dex’s chair (which he’s dragged outside) to make it look more like a s’mores making session than a source of food for cannibals. He hovers a bit till the box looks less identifiable and more like a pile of char before he feels secure enough to go back inside.

 

In the time it took him to burn the extra bits, Justin and Dex have gotten the valuable parts onto the ambulance and cleaned up the lab, for the most part. Justin’s grabbing his bag when Adam walks back inside, and he nods so Adam knows Dex is ready when they are. He checks the monitors, turns them off, and checks his weapons one last time for good measure before motioning for Justin to follow him out. He locks the door as Justin climbs into the ambulance, and then does one more sweep of the grounds before getting in himself. Then he closes the doors, gives Dex the signal, and they’re off.

 

Dex turns the sirens on for this, since they have to move fast if they want to keep the product fresh, and they start with the customers who put in specific requests so they make sure the job is technically done. Then Adam makes some calls, finds some buyers for most of the other parts, and nearly all the meat, so they drop all of it off as quickly and quietly as they can. (Dex only uses the sirens if they hit traffic, since they really can’t risk sitting in the middle of a bunch of civilians and god knows who else for longer than absolutely necessary.)

 

At the end of the night, they’ve made a decent haul, and Holster checks in with Jack to let him know how much they made and what the leftovers are. Jack confirms, tells Adam the plans for the money and the rest of the product that they’ll deal with tomorrow, and reminds Adam to get a new burner phone. He’s had this one a bit longer than he should’ve. Adam agrees, mentions that nothing suspicious happened at the lab site, and after a few more technicalities they hang up. Adam makes a mental note to wipe the phone and destroy it in the morning, but for now he just wants to be with his boyfriend.

 

He climbs back in the ambulance, knocks on the wall so Dex will get going, and slumps against Justin’s shoulder. “Dude, I am so ready for this night to be over.”

 

Justin nods. “We went later than usual, didn’t we?”

 

“Yeah, but you were faster than usual, too. Boss just had us work a late shift tonight even though he  _ said  _ he was gonna take a night off. Damn workaholic.”

 

“You’re one to talk.” Justin smiles, rolling his eyes.

 

“Hey, when my job is to protect the love of my life, of fucking course I’m gonna be a workaholic. You do your thing, and I’ll just be here making sure you live to do it another day.”

 

“Awh, bro.”

 

“Bro.” Adam presses a kiss to Justin’s temple, puts his arm around him; Justin lays his head on Adam’s shoulder, and they stay like that the rest of the way home.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a heads up, if you enjoy my writing and want to read more of my gore and fuckery, you might wanna check out [my novel](https://tapas.io/series/LID). (No pressure, though. It's a WIP.) I also take requests for fanfic, so if there's anything in particular you wanna see hit me up over on [Tumblr](http://irlkent.tumblr.com)!
> 
> Nurseydex may or may not be next for this AU. We'll see.


End file.
